My little demon...
Do you know that feeling that you want to redirect your life, make new choices, but that your thoughts are making you feel crazy? Such an annoying voice in your mind, which makes you doubt, freezes you and stagnates the flow. Our guest-blogger Amber Hanning wrote a blog about it.
You are afraid to switch between jobs, because resigning your permanent job. You have an interview planned, but are already afraid for the possibility of a rejection. Or you like to tell your new love how much you like him or her, but are afraid to put yourself in a vulnerable position. I think there are many examples like these of thoughts that are stopping is or put hurdles in the way. Or even stop us from being truly ourselves and to live from what our heart tells us. I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t analyze these kinds of things and wonder the how and why regarding it. I have already accepted that I am a philosopher / dreamer in nature, who likes to wonder about the meanings of behavior and events in our lives.
I personally believe that as a child we already have an intention/purpose accompanying us. But do we learn to follow our hearts? To explore and develop our qualities and intentions? I perceived it differently as teacher for class 7, when I was still teaching at primary school. From my perspective, we mainly learn in society (and consequently also at schools as a reflection thereof) to thinking in a rut. This is good and desirable, that is not good and undesirable. That's normal and average. And if you cannot sit still or behave differently, you do not meet expectations and we will try to label it. With A scores you are doing well, with D-scores you are not doing so good. Even when phrased nicely, children realize that they are measured in scores and assessments. Perhaps the kid with a D score is very creative and practical blissed. And when you look at those things, you could end up with a total different score. And with these qualities eventually becoming an excellent carpenter. On the other hand, I also experienced kids that changed their E score to a B score from the moment that they felt safe in their class and enjoyed their time there. Based on that they were enough. Independent from their grades/performance. In this, the basis that they felt was already good enough, apart from their grades / performance, for calculating, language and reading. Fortunately, there is a shift happening in education for the better. However, after 5 years I resigned my teaching job to figure out in which way my heart wanted to contribute immensely.
But I was talking about how our minds work… Where are our (restricting) thoughts based on? Is it society? Education? Is it nurture? Or nature (genes)? Researchers do not agree on this subject. It can also be a mix of several causes. I think it's about what we do with these thoughts. We can influence our thoughts. The moment you are aware of it, you also know that you are just having these thoughts, but you don’t are your thoughts.
However, it’s easier said than done. Last week, I raised the bar again for myself. Requests for work and a selection day for a train-the-trainers program. All super fun! But unfortunately, that annoying voice showed up again. I've given it a name: "my little demon".
"You could be rejected".
"Am I good enough?"
"Can I do this?"
I even feel it in my body. More stress and rapid breathing. It’s time to stop this disturbing little demon. I think I am stronger than this little voice and wanted to stop it by just telling it to stop messing with me.
But crazy enough, this only seemed to make it worse! And it’s really blocking me.
At that moment, I talk to Sicco Weertman (Orthomolecular Physician) and discuss my issues with him. He helps me by reminding me that we suffer most from the things we resist. Emotions or situations that we don’t like. Oh, that's it! Embrace it! "Okay little ‘annoying’ demon. You are allowed to be nervous. It’s not that uncommon that things can make you feel insecure.” And crazy enough, after accepting that negative voice in my head and stopping the battle, I immediately feel calmer and more positive. And I also immediately realize again that I just want to enjoy these experiences. And that it’s also okay if doesn’t work out or when there is no result attached. You are already enough. Something that I also tried to give forth as much as possible to the kids I was teaching.
And that's also what yoga is for me. Acceptance of the moment. Acceptance of fun and challenging emotions, thoughts and events. Fall and rise. Results and no results. The one is not separate from the other, it’s just part of life and completes us as a person. Yoga helps me to experience and enjoy my life along the paths I take. With and without results.
Do you have your own a little demon? Welcome this!
What does it have to teach you?
Enjoy your YogaHabits© today!
Amber know from her own experience what a big effect healthy lifestyle choices can have on your energy level. The effect of the tools she found is even that amazing, that she started to share these tools. To inspire others to challenge themselves and also take up these challenges. To grow both on a physical as mental level. Awareness of your body & mind and respecting your own boundaries as foundation. In her yoga and bodybalance classes. But also in workshops, lifecoaching and blogs, she like to let other experience successes, change automatic patterns. With enthusiasms while keeping it simple.